Joy

So coming from me the fact that I changed my hair may not be a surprise…. But I did.

Yes I cut nearly eight inches off at length.

Aside from another drastic hair change I also am trying to actually figure out why I am at Utah State. Other than the knowledge that I am going to gain a degree, I got nothin’. I have been contemplating many different roads and career paths… I don’t like any of them. To be completely honest at this exact moment in time I am attending school just to prevent my entrance into normal working class society. Not the best reason but hey, it is what it is.

Right now I am considering and taking suggestions. My interests lie in Nutrion Science and Physical Science (for a possible career in optimum athletic training… ie. Olympic Athletes). I also cannot deviate from my love of music and need to progress in my vocal talent that God has given me. Not a whole lot you say? Well here’s the bugger; I also want to minor or double minor in French and Spanish. (Spanish if I absolutely had to choose). I’ve called the advisers, none of which believe it is possible that I can do anything besides their major. “*fill major here* is much too hard, it requires far too much to be a double major.” I’m starting to think that all majors believe themselves to be too intricate and complex. Well I’m here to abolish that idea. I also spent some time frantically (don’t really understand why I was frantic) scanning the Utah State webpage of Student Services. After many misled visits I made it to the Academic Student Services…. where they proceeded to tell me that none of the Student Services can help me with the problem I face…. Great. He did however give me all the numbers of the five, count ‘em five, advisers I need to consult. I let you know how it goes.

This new “spunky” haircut has given me this almost alter ego that believes I can do anything… this could be great, or horrible. Not quite sure yet.

In my ridiculous three hour chem lab we had to do a bunch of “dangerous” mixtures. Pretty much the first few were variations of Na and H20…. aka salt water. Later we mixed Hydrogen Chloride and Magnesium Phosphate which was pretty cool, I felt like a real chemist with my dorky goggles and a fuming blue test tube in my hand.  However other than just noticing the reactions of theses chemicals with our eyes we were supposed to notice the odor. No one else was willing to stuff there nose anywhere near a mysterious test tube so naturally, I volunteered. *Note: this is what volunteering will get you* I went to “sniff” the mixture and couldn’t smell anything but according to our instructions there was supposed to be something to smell. So I proceeded to inch it closer to my face and take a “snuff” instead… well low and behold I flippin’ snuffed Sulfiric Acid…. Needless to say I was coughing for a few minutes and had to get a couple drinks. Now I sit here slightly miffed and with a smaller brain cell count.

To those who say I never learn; I beg to differ in one instance…

My senior year of high school while all my friends were taking the bare minimum of classes, just skiving off till graduation, I was take 9 classes in seven periods, involved in over ten clubs and two sports, while working two jobs. I burned out fast but kept going. I found the capacity at which I can function and the performance I put out at the caliber. Yes, I completed everything and yes, I didn’t have everything work out perfectly but I wouldn’t do anything different. Now here comes my lesson learned; I do not need to over burden myself.

What I mean is, at the beginning of this semester I was signed up for 21 credits and attempting to find a job… the makings for a stress filled semester that would no doubt end up in another bought of mediocrity induced depression. After a harsh sickness my first week of school and a long though out decision, I decided. I decided that I am only human and instead of trying to be amazing and falling into mediocrity I was going to emphasize the things I am good at.  I would still be amazing but at a lesser cost, my well being. I am down to 13 credits; the bare minimum to be a full time student on the financial plateau. The difference though between me and my friends their senior year is the fact that I am still working hard. The classes I’m taking are very hard and I’m still studying hard.

Here’s the best part though. It’s friday night and I am done with all of my homework, all of it, all I could quite literally possibly do. I’m even two chapters ahead in my reading. I aced my first Chemistry quiz and only missed one on the second quiz. I am unstressed and loving college, how I always imagined it would be. Yes I intend to take more credits in the future, especially since I plan to double major or minor in music, but as for right now for once I am letting myself be. I’m making myself chill out and I can’t express how nice it is.

Week one of the college experience…. was awesome.

I have a massive bruise on my leg from table surfing onto a Luv Sac.

I went on a Sky Coaster on Saturday, nearly peed myself.

Bonded with my awesome roomies

I love it, a lot.

P.S. We are cool and have brand spankin’ new micro suede couches lol. We win.

Tonight I say good bye not only to my best friend Anne but to Blanding and the last two years of my life. I had no idea why God saw it fit to move me here my junior year, I did not know my purpose for coming. Now at the end of two years, my job is done, I have done what God sent me here to do.

I will miss this town, my friends but another chapter is opening and my life goes on. I have never felt such a sense of peace about a move but I know that now is the time and Logan is the place. I hope I will return to this peculiar little place and that I can keep in touch with those around me now. I want to reiterate my appreciation to God for knowing what I did not and sending me a blessing I didn’t know to ask for.

As for my college experience I know it will be hard but rewarding and fun but chaotic. I am looking forward with a new perspective and a goal in mind. At this moment I couldn’t be more content. Money’s tight, school’s looking threatening, and I’m leaving amazing people behind; but I know there is a new conquest, a new journey I must embark on and it leaves tomorrow in a friend’s lumina.

Sometimes I find myself questioning God. Why are there mesquitos? What’s the purpose of hair? Why did three loving men and fathers have to die?

This morning around 7:00 am my boss and former counselor in the bishopric, my sunday school teacher, and a close ward member died in a plane crash.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=3962997

I cannot believe it, yesterday we were joking around at work. We stuck a pickle to Brian’s head, now he’s gone leaving his wife and four kids to run a business on their own.

A few sundays ago, Kim was giving our lesson, his mispelled writing strewn over the chalk board.

Watching Eric set his oldest daughter apart as second counselor in the beehives.

I not only grieve for my loss but for the significantly larger loss of their families.

Brian:

Suzie

Bree

Brock

Ellie

Gracie

Kim:

Debbie

Eric

Tiffany

Ashley

Cory

Greg

Eric:

Denise

Kortney

Devin

Tanner

Adriana

At work today I kept expecting to see his grin poking through the window in the door or to hear his jubliant laugh, I didn’t.

Growing up and getting out, the over stimulated idea of freedom. Leaving everything that felt comfortable to break into the new ice of a new life. I should be used to it but as I pack to move out today I realize that every moment was too short and every memory too far in the past. Blanding will always be my hometown; it’s the one place that felt like home. As I walk out and leave the past behind I know that this place, these people, have changed me for the better. To know of goodness in the realest form, to experience that chivalry does indeed still exist, and that there are beautiful havens in this wretched world. This is by no means a perfect town, some puddles are deeper and the gossip is gospel but still it’s perfect comparatively. My life is hard and far from pleasant but it’s mine and it’s the only thing that is. I wouldn’t trade any of it, I don’t regret anything because I know God didn’t intend for this to be a crash course. Everything I’ve been and all that I’ve done have morphed into the person I am now and for once, I like myself. I’m still too loud, not healthy enough, and carry too many annoying traits. With this move comes a new chance, another leaf to be turned, another start of another race. So cheers to college, late nights, working like a dog, and lovin’ every minute of it.

You know you’ve moved a lot when it’s not a process but a routine. I just finished packing up about half of my belongings into old Xerox and Fry boxes; crossing out the previous labels of moves from 2003,2004,2006. It’s a crazy thing to be so comfortable with such a cataclysmic series of events. But due to my frequent practice it’s just another day in the life of Joy.  I just recently finished a book about an ever traveling body shifter (The Host by Stephenie Meyer), the main character’s name is Wanderer. I loved it. There was a beautiful quote from that book that I instantly fell in love with,

“It’s not the face but the expressions on it, it’s not the voice but what you say, it’s not how you look in that body but the things you do with it; that’s beauty.”

On to another town with more memories and fun opportunities. Like they say, there’s a time and place for everything and it’s called college.

Senioritis (n): the disease of severe apathy followed by nostalgia in recovery

As an underclassman I thought I knew what it meant to have Senioritis. I didn’t like doing homework, I preferred ditching to attending, and I was out to “get-the-man”. How very little I knew about REAL Senioritis.

It’s doing homework and not turning it in.

It’s literally not caring when you once obsessed.

It’s physically forcing yourself to get up and go to school.

It’s going to 28/49 days in your last quarter of high school.

A lot of people hear about the disease but no one tells you how to over come it.

Senioritis is like a common flu. You get, it runs its course, and then you’re normal again. However I did not know that the equivolent to “sweating it out” is nostalgia. The idea of graduation hasn’t really hit, or if it has it didn’t make much of an impact but walking around town, checking out of school, hanging out with friends, all make me realize that this is over.

How I wish I could live the last semester of my senior year forever. But looking at everything in life, it changes. Change is one thing you can count on. I went to the Page Graduation and yes I love my friends there and yeah I had a good time, but really, Blanding has made me love high school. Blanding does not go with out flaws, oh believe me it has ‘em. But I can handle the flaws with the out weighing benefits. To graduate and NOT have to worry about people getting drunk, your friends no less, to have graduation be a “good bye” instead of “whoopee I’m so gone”, to miss it.

I am so blessed for every opportunity and change God gives me. Graduation is sad, its happy, its hard, its easy, its wonderful, and its here.

Never take an AP Exam after only taking the college version of the course. It will result in:

• Panic Attack the night before
• Severe Stress during the examination
• Eventual Surrender and Cancellation of the exam

Pretty much I tried to take the Calculus AP Exam after taking a semester long Calculus course, Fall 2006, from CEU…

After all is said and done, I feel fine about the whole situation… My dad will probably be “disappointed” in me but that doesn’t really matter much to me right now.  Luckily my upcoming AP US History Exam and AP Music Theory Exam are much more…. prepared for.